Yearn for solace yet obliged to death

Be that sharp edge of a mirror that catches the shimmer
of bliss but not the truth of divinely hectic beings!!
Be truth that is the truth
truth we give the most to thoughts
To truths of the most divinely hectic beings ..........Angell Mphaphi Nthoi

Yearn for solace yet obliged to death
The very essence of living is based on prevailing over your tests. Different scenarios engaging you in pursuing balance within your character. Negative and positive influences in one single day, make you uncomfortable to say ‘I know my SELF.’

The cliché Everyday is a learning day suffices till now, because every day you have to deal with the unknown. How to handle this unknown determines the difference amongst us.

Now check, am no academician so I won’t splash in some greek mythology type shit… but I feel I should put something across. Please, let me. The rapper Sol from Anticon in his track Baddest Poet said “The only reason I rap is because am not smart enough to write a book.”

Picture this, the decisions you make do not only affect you. Based on anger, jealousy hate or even, I humbly admit, love.

Love a mixture of all these feelings, is a predisposing factor to most failures. With age, I have learnt to induce love in appropriate tokens and only when necessary and if its available. For then I can rationalize it though reason – Gza in Breaker breaker - "With age and experience my reason ripens."


I inspire people differently, I meet people in my life who've built their benchmarks on my thought process. Am not thumping my chest here, am relaying my fears to you because how does someone have so much trust in me ? Yet am as human as them. Then I realized maybe their weaknesses are strengthened by my actions in overcoming my fears.

Fear is a deadly feeling, it resides within. Depending on the gravity of the situation, it can have detrimental effects on your being. As human beings we either strive to overcome fear or avoid defeat by it.

People respond differently to fear: Some indulge in consumption of drugs, others develop unique sexual orientations, few would utilize their talents and harness courage, the wealthy continuously convince those perceived to be lesser mortals on the significance of having them as the redemption from their plight.

‘Hunger, poverty, hunger, poverty!’ repeat after me, ‘Hunger, poverty’- Vast Aire a poet from Harlem 125th street once said in his Album Cold Vein - "Coz when you are starving it ain't fun man." – True because you will have to deflate your hunger but what is your style of deflation ? is it recommended within the social structure governed by a moral fabric ?

Fear rules and determines how fast we attain our goals. That medical insurance, a loan repayment, The pending court case, His cheating spouse , our HIV test , the outlawed sect members on a rampage , getting fired , losing touch with your talent, an erectile dysfunction, your gay cousin, rebellious off springs , ungrateful in-laws, marriage and ultimately death are just but a few of what we go through in daily life.

To overcome all these, means success .There are measures put in place by society to judge you if you are successful or not. Aesop another poet from Newyork in his album Labor day said - "You don’t want to be overlooked but you don’t wanna be looked over too much." We all intend to make our lives better hence we yearn for solace.

Death the master, the determinant,the unknown. Death brings out the truth -Gza said in Breaker Breaker "The truth is usually seen but rarely heard." The beauty of death is only visible when you look into its eyes, its mockery is least to say painful but cold almost inhumane.

Death according to me has conversations with time, time is always silent. Time just watches. Time gives death the ability to put in play, your demise. Time is ahead of you, Time can laugh or cry with you.

Time will never whisper to you when it's about to leave you. Time and death walk hand in hand, time is always silent. Angell Mpaphi Nthoi a poet in Gaberone may have described death correctly when he said "He is and he isn't, simultaneous oneness and difference."

Death will give you clear guidelines of what to do and what not to do. But time? sigh, time will just be there, arms folded adorning a long golden garment quickly rummaging through scrolls tucked in his arms- I used to think time looked like Gendalph from Lord of the rings- but I just didn’t say that, Does time have feelings ?

Why would time warrant all the horrors witnessed in this life? Am I wrong to say that time uses fear in form of death to control our lives ? Is it true? because time doesn’t speak! but time can hear death’s whisper in their conversation when death says 'If you have unprotected sex frequently, you could end up terminally ill' or 'If you walk into that bank with a gun, the cops will shoot you' , 'If your husband finds out you are sleeping with his friend, he could kill you' or 'If you keep fighting your brother, he will hate you and maybe Cain you'.

Death controls, Bam! Loud bang ! an accident on the highway, some drunk parked in the middle of the road. Remember what death told you? 'If you drink whilst driving, you will die'. Sometimes I fear what I write, that’s why I will sum up my words today and say, "we yearn for solace, yet we are obliged to death."